Phyllis Dillerisms...Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.Phyllis DillerHousework can't ki...l you, but why take a chance?Phyllis DillerCleaning house while your kids are growing up is like shovelling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.Phyllis DillerThe reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Phyllis DillerBest way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.Phyllis DillerA bachelor is. You were so scared you wanted to cry but you still did what you needed to do and you saved us. You saved your mom from those men and you saved me. Thank you."Mary scooted towards the middle of the loveseat couch and reached out to touch Jimmy's arm. "I couldn't believe you went back out there with Bill," she said timidly. "I was so scared that he was going to take me out there I think I wet my pants."That brought a slight smile to the adult's faces as they watched the two 13 year olds."I was. She pulled her hands from his, more from self defense against the emotions racing through her, than because she didn't want to touch him. Then she balled up her fists and wiped her eyes, sniffling.Bob stood up and faced the other adults."They did the best they knew how. And she's probably right. It probably wouldn't have made any difference. All it would have done was upset everyone. I'm awake now, I'm fine, I remember everything that happened while I was asleep, and we're going to be a family. Of course, her mother was under no such restrictions, and could teach the famed nuns of old some lessons in child discipline.Immediately after graduating, Sue married a prim and proper young man: a 4th Degree Knight of Columbus who often served communion to the parishioners.But Sue wasn't satisfied. Ever since puberty, she had always known deep inside, that she was a physical person with a strong libido. Her husband, as good as he was to her, would never eat "down there." He would never so much.
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